hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
