# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
