i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
