I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
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