Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
