so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Randomize
