This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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