You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Kiss
Puke
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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