OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
