I feel like abortions should bother me more
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
