Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
