her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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