He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
