sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
