If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I FOUND THE LEGS
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
