Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
