please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
