No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize