I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
