Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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