Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
well you can't waste a boner
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
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