hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
