doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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