Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
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