doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize