I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize