What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
