Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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