Will you blow on my dice?
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
You made out with two different species that night
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
