Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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