I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
