My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
