how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Randomize