Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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