had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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