What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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