You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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