So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
