peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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