Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize