Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
