You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
