I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
