I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
