Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
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