wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Randomize
