R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
