I only kidnapped one of them. chill
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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