therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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