i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Randomize
