The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Buhtt sex?
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
