I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
