I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
