i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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