you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Randomize
