i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
