She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Randomize
