No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
