areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
