so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
