I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Randomize
