dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
