found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
