it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Randomize
