you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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