Sry I called you an 8
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
He better not be in your backpack
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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