if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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