Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
