i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Randomize
