STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
