Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
