i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
