im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
